Amplifying emotional intelligence entails intentionally cultivating and refining one's ability to perceive, understand, and manage emotions, both within oneself and in others. It involves a deep exploration of one's emotional landscape and honing skills in empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication, to name a few of the many skill areas. By amplifying emotional intelligence, individuals can navigate complex social dynamics with greater ease, build stronger relationships, and make more informed decisions; benefits have a far and broad impact! Emotional Intelligence is a cornerstone for personal growth, professional success, and overall well-being, fostering a deeper connection to oneself and the world around them.
In the BarOn EQ-I, the Emotional Intelligence model we use with clients, each of the skill areas is accompanied by a growth graph with specific strategies to perform and track progress over time. These growth graphs include a recommended sequence to Pause, Process, Pick and then Perform a strategy. The alliteration of these 4 Ps helps to remember the sequence and simplify a plan, though simple does not necessarily equate to being easy! Acquiring any new skill, whether it’s learning a language, a musical instrument, or how to tame impulsivity, as one example of an EQ skill, requires patience, dedication, grace, and regular practice.
During the height of the Pandemic, our firm was introduced to a new platform that combines neuroscience, positive psychology, performance science, and cognitive psychology, which converge into the field we now call Positive Intelligence™ or PQ for short.
The research underscoring PQ is impressive and highlighted in the NY Times best-seller by Shirzad Chamine – “Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours.” PQ goes to the root cause of how we all regularly sabotage our impact by overusing or abusing our top strengths. Building a foundation in PQ facilitates stronger EQ and makes skill acquisition more durable by raising one’s threshold for recovery. Triggers are better managed because they are understood, going to the root cause of what’s getting in the way.
Using the example of impulsivity and building better impulse control, one strategy to employ is to ‘get curious before being furious.’ Yet, going deeper to understand the root cause of what triggers fury makes it easier to build self-awareness and a subsequent coping strategy. After all, when you can name it, you can tame it! For example, one trigger of poor impulse could be the boss with a high penchant for perfectionism. The boss lashes out at one of her direct reports when he submits a report that contains a couple of errors.
Although there’s an opportunity here for both the boss and the direct report, the lashing out from poor impulse control has been an ongoing problem. It has led to rampant employee turnover (a common problem in many organizations with leaders who demonstrate toxic behavior). Understanding the trigger's origin is part of successfully intercepting it before anger can lead to an outburst. In this vein, PQ not only complements EQ but also facilitates greater emotional intelligence development.
PQ radically simplifies personal growth and development. In the case of the 4Ps mentioned earlier in developing EQ, Positive Intelligence streamlines the sequence into an easier-to-remember three steps: Pause, Notice, and Choose.
Pause – is identical to the first step in the EQ model and arguably is the step that most people fail to implement adequately or at all. Knee-jerk reactions and succumbing to an amygdala hijack are what get many in trouble with impulse control and so many other EQ-related deficits. The pause step is fundamental for amplifying all EQ skills.
Notice – consider this step as the ‘process’ step from the EQ model. It’s also an extension of the pause step, to more deeply understand the origination of a trigger, and is best utilized when judgement is suspended.
Choose – consider this final step in the PQ model as a consolidation of ‘pick’ and ‘perform’ from EQ, albeit there’s an implicit basis for the response or strategy that is performed.
Whenever we can streamline or simplify a process, it’s worthwhile in any efforts of skill-building because it helps tackle overwhelm, which can be a big derailer. Whether it’s building better impulse control or any of the other skill areas of EQ, the pause, notice, choose sequence is effective. Streamlining the steps also helps guarantee easier retrieval, which is always a winner in combatting the clutter that can occupy our brains. Remember the simple steps of pause, notice, and choose to build your emotional intelligence through positive intelligence. We like to say that PQ + EQ = the new you!
Cited: Chamine, Shirzad. (2016). Positive Intelligence: Why only 20% of individuals achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours. Greenleaf Book Press: Austin, TX
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