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Writer's pictureBrittney-Nichole Connor-Savarda

Intentional Holidays: Aligning Festive Traditions with Personal Well-being


Intentional holiday traditions

The holiday season often brings a brightly wrapped package of joy, love, and unity. Yet, beneath those festive lights and sparkling decorations, emotions can take a roller coaster ride, and stress can stealthily creep in. As we find ourselves on the brink of this festive period, it becomes crucial to pause, breathe, and introspect on what this season symbolizes for us and how the unspoken obligations it may bring can affect our emotional well-being.


The Highs of the Holidays


The holidays, that I believe we all strive for, radiates symphony of love, care, and shared moments, reverberating with emotions that echo through our memories. The innocent delight in children's eyes as they participate in festive activities, the camaraderie that sparkles around the family dinner table, and the profound fulfillment derived from giving to those less fortunate – these are the authentic hallmarks of the season. The glimmering lights, the nostalgic scent of pine and cinnamon, and the hearty flavors of traditional feasts all paint a captivating picture of unity and love. These treasured moments of celebration and reunion offer a priceless opportunity to bask in the glow of appreciation, relish in the genuine joy of togetherness, and savor the profound simplicity of life's greatest gifts – love and connection. However, amidst these moments of joy and connection, it's important to recognize that the holiday season is not always a time of unadulterated happiness for everyone. While some may have loving families to celebrate with, many others may not.


Some may have the financial means to enjoy extravagant feasts and gifts, while others struggle to make ends meet. And for many individuals, this time of year can bring back painful memories or feelings of loneliness and isolation.


The Lows of the Holidays


Paradoxically, the holiday season can usher in feelings of solitude and sadness. The societal expectations associated with this season – familial togetherness, generous gift-giving, and communal festivities – can inadvertently deepen the emotional void for those experiencing personal loss or unfulfilled expectations.


Financial implications associated with these traditions can further amplify distress. The societal urge to participate in extravagant gift-giving and grand celebrations can put significant financial strain on many, leading to a surge in anxiety and despair. This is a clear reflection of the materialistic society we live in, where happiness and self-worth are often linked to material possessions.


Our society also paints an image of the "ideal family" during this season: always joyful, always united... This can intensify feelings of loneliness in those who feel their own reality doesn't align with this depiction. The stark difference between the external festive environment and their internal emotional turmoil can make reaching out for help even harder, leaving them isolated in their struggles.


Navigating the Holiday Season Authentically: Empowerment Over Conformity


The societal norms and expectations that surround the holiday season may seem overwhelming, but it is vital to remember that we are not forced to conform to these. Instead, empowerment lies at the heart of enabling individuals to navigate the holiday season authentically and healthily. We have the power to choose how we spend our time, which traditions we engage in, and how much we participate. Setting boundaries is an integral part of this empowerment – it's entirely acceptable to decline certain events or traditions if they generate stress or discomfort, irrespective of how much they're glorified by society or the media. Breaking down the stigma associated with spending holidays differently is a critical step toward challenging potentially unhealthy norms. Prioritizing your mental well-being over societal expectations is essential. If a peaceful holiday for you means a quiet evening at home instead of a grand celebration, then that's your authentic celebration. Harnessing this sort of empowerment gives us the freedom to celebrate in ways that bring us joy rather than anxiety or sadness, providing a powerful tool to navigate the complexities of the holiday season.


But What Will Others Think?


It's natural to worry about how our actions are perceived by others, especially when those actions deviate from societal norms. However, it's crucial to understand that the thoughts and feelings of others are not a measure of your personal happiness or success. Everyone has unique needs, tolerances, and happiness triggers, so what works for one person might not work for others. The fear of judgment can be crippling, but remember, you owe it to yourself to prioritize your mental health and well-being over the opinions of others. Your holiday celebration should be about finding genuine joy and peace, not about meeting others' expectations. Remember, we can't control others' thoughts or reactions, but we can control our responses and actions. So, choose to spend your holiday season in a way that serves your happiness and well-being, not societal expectations.


Here are a few tips that may help you effectively communicate your choices to others:


Communicating Boundaries: Be upfront about your decision not to participate in certain activities. It's important to express your standpoint clearly, yet respectfully, to avoid misunderstanding.


Emphasizing Personal Choice: When explaining your decision, for example, not to give gifts, stress that it's a personal choice aimed at reducing stress and promoting your well-being, not a rejection of the tradition or the person.


Offering Alternatives: Instead of attending parties, you might suggest alternatives like a quiet dinner, a game night, or a simple video call, which could still foster a sense of togetherness.


Focusing on the Positive: When communicating your decision not to participate in certain events, focus on the positive aspects of your choice, such as more free time, less stress, and a more personalized holiday experience.


Show Understanding: Be empathetic to those who might feel disappointed by your choices, assuring them that it doesn't mean you value them any less.


Staying Consistent: Maintain consistency in your decisions, and don't let others' reactions deter you from your chosen path. This will help others understand and respect your choices.


Remember, honest communication is key. Making your choices clear and emphasizing your well-being can help others understand and respect your decisions.


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